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Writer's pictureBen Hickman

A reminder to stay curious: Lessons from our first Reflective Rebels Book Club

As I pulled up to the first Reflective Rebels Book Club meeting last Thursday, the ruins of Kirklinton Hall loomed from the mist and my tummy butterflies were at ‘kid on Christmas morning’ levels. I was reminded why I'd chosen this café - a deliberate retreat, drawing a line between the day-to-day and a space for reflection.


As the seven of us assembled around a large wooden table with coffee in hand, we relaxed into a comfortable chat. I’d purchased a bound notebook to keep a written record of the meetings to look back on, so we each ‘signed in’ and wrote a note about what we were feeling and looking forward to. Beginning the session with a little ceremony, I led us in a short breathing exercise to ground us in the moment, accompanied by the gentle hum of a generator (the café was successfully dealing with a power cut - a good reminder that life doesn’t go to plan).


The first book was The Power of Now by Eckhart Toll, and it's safe to say there were mixed opinions. In fact, around half of the group had failed to reach the end. The writing style is complex and often repetitive. As someone commented, Toll is trying to talk about things beyond language in a book filled with words; part of the style is a deliberate attempt to move our minds beyond our habitual thinking patterns. The result, though, is that it’s a slog!


Despite its challenging style, everyone appreciated Toll’s central message, a deep realisation that the present moment is all we ever have. We explored how we each might come closer to the ‘now’, whether through yoga, gardening, or figure skating and had an honest chat about how much of a struggle it can be to remain ‘present’ in our hectic daily lives.


One of the highlights for me was the opportunity to discuss Toll’s comments on the menstrual cycle and how it offers women a chance to connect more deeply with their inner selves and the present. I was intrigued to know what the women in the group felt towards a man writing about their experience. The question led to a fascinating discussion about the self-awareness and connection with the body the menstrual cycle necessitates and how that might translate into the world of work and business.


This is precisely what I hoped Reflective Rebels would be—a space to learn from each other’s experiences. I’m an open person, and I'm comfortable talking about anything. Still, I have to say I haven’t had that many conversations about periods lately. This was the kind of thing I was hoping for from the book club, a chance to understand the world from perspectives other than our own. The discussion also served as a useful reminder to me about how tuning into our bodies, for both men and women, can help us navigate the chaos of daily life with greater clarity and calm – to be more present.


In contrast, when the conversation turned to global inequality - its nature, causes, and solutions - differences of opinion became starker. This part of the discussion has challenged me to reflect on how to stay curious, even when the topic stirs deep emotions. I think my general fatigue at the level of challenge the world faces was too intense that morning. In my desire to share my passionate beliefs, I closed off to other perspectives—a humbling realisation. I pride myself on listening, but even I can fall into the trap of defending my worldview instead of staying curious.


The goal of Reflective Rebels is to encourage us to think differently, take action, and lead with greater awareness. I’m grateful for last week's opportunity to continue to learn about myself, explore how I’m responding to the world, what my emotions are telling me, and the important reminder to stay curious. We will only solve the world’s challenges by working together—with empathy, curiosity, and less judgment. Reflective Rebels offers a space to practice this, not to be perfect at it. I hope to see you at a future meeting, ready to challenge your thinking, deepen your understanding, and grow as we learn together.

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